🧠 How Worrying About the Uncontrollable Affects Mental Health
The term “circle of control” in psychology pertains to the elements of one’s environment that can be managed. It is based on the concept of locus of control, which refers to an individual’s belief in their ability to influence the events in their life. By focusing on what they can control and letting go of what they cannot, individuals can effectively manage their stress and anxiety.
Recognizing what is within their sphere of influence allows people to make proactive decisions and take action to improve their circumstances. Regularly evaluating their circle of control and practicing mindfulness can lead to a greater sense of contentment and tranquility in their daily lives.
What is out of my control?
- The Future
- The Past
- Actions of Others
- Opinion of Others
- What Happens Around Me
- The Outcome of My Efforts
- How Others Take Care of Themselves
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Learning to cope with uncertainty
Dealing with Uncertainty
To cope with all this uncertainty, many of us use worrying as a tool for trying to predict the future and avoid nasty surprises. Worrying can make it seem like you have some control over uncertain circumstances. You may believe that it will help you find a solution to your problems or prepare you for the worst. Maybe if you just agonize over a problem long enough, just think through every possibility, or read every opinion online, you’ll find a solution and be able to control the outcome. Unfortunately, none of this works. Chronic worrying can’t give you more control over uncontrollable events; it just robs you of enjoyment in the present, saps your energy, and keeps you up at night. But there are healthier ways to cope with uncertainty—and that begins with adjusting your mindset.
The following tips can help you to:
- Take action over the things you can control
- Challenge your need for certainty
- Learn to accept uncertainty
- Focus on the present
- Manage stress and anxiety
Written by: Lawrence Robinson and Melinda Smith, M.A.
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Tips to Soothe Your Worries of What Others Think of You
It’s natural to want others to like and respect us, but worrying too much about thoughts others hold about you could injure your mental health.
There’s no use in acting like we don’t care at all about what others think because it’s just not true. But there are ways to lessen the burden and not let their opinions hurt your mental health.
It's natural to want others to like and respect us, but worrying too much about thoughts others hold about you could injure your mental health.
People with low self-esteem and those who grew up without emotional support are also more likely to care too much what other people think of them.
10 tips on how to get unstuck from worry
So, how can you get unstuck from worrying about how others perceive you? Here are some tips you can try.
- Expect and accept that people will have opinions of you.
- Take back control over your own feelings.
- Remember that everybody makes mistakes.
- Develop your sense of self and build confidence.
- Don't try to mind read – you're probably wrong.
- Consider the source.
- Know that you're usually your own worst critic.
- Surround yourself with accepting, supportive people.
- Consider therapy.
- Hold your own judgments of others.
Written by: Kate Bettino
Visit Psych Central to Learn MoreCan’t Help Thinking About the Past? 3 Tips to Stop Ruminating
Thinking about the past is natural. But what happens if you just can’t stop? Rumination may be upsetting, but there are ways to stop it.
Memories of the past can connect you with parts of yourself that you’ve left behind. But persistently dwelling on your past, or thinking about events that already happened, may cause you distress.
This is particularly the case if you’re fixated on negative events or emotions that once were. For example, if you can’t stop thinking about past mistakes.
Managing these intrusive thoughts is possible, although it may require some time and effort. Understanding why you can’t stop ruminating on the past can be the first step to finding relief.
How to stop ruminating on the past
Try quieting your inner critic
Consider the possibilities
Changing directions may help
Written by: Steph Coelho
Visit Psych Central to Learn MoreYou Can't Change Someone Else. But You Can Do This.
So many things bother us—people, mostly. But pretty much everything has the power to upset our basic sense of well-being. Our tendency, when things bother us, is to blame the other person or situation for getting it wrong and thus causing our suffering.
Once we have identified what we consider the cause of our disturbance, we usually set out to try and fix it. We attempt to change the other person’s behavior or the situation into something we consider right, or at least something that will not bother us.
Freedom from the whole blaming/fixing cycle, ironically, comes from moving our attention away from the other person/problem that is to blame/fix, and turning that attention onto ourselves.
To turn your attention into yourself is to ask the question: What does this situation or person’s behavior trigger in me? What pain is generated in me when I am confronted with this behavior or reality?
As we all know, we can’t control anyone else’s behavior, and we can’t make another person want to or be able to change. But we can always make the choice to shift our attention inward, to focus the lens of curiosity onto ourselves.
Written by: Nancy Colier, LCSW, Rev
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What to Do When Life Feels Out of Control
Learning why you may feel like your life is out of control helps you understand the underlying issues that may be causing these feelings. We also discuss several actions you can take if life feels a little haywire, helping you feel better about your circumstances—even if you can't control them.
What happens around me:
What to Do When Life Feels Out of Control:
*** Pause and Take a Break
*** Try to Change Your Perspective
*** Take Control of Things You Can Change.
*** Be Confident in Your Life Decisions
*** Talk it Out, Pick Up a Hobby,
*** Think Positively
Written by: Tiara Blain
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Press Play for Advice On Dealing With Emotional Crises
This episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast shares a technique that can help you when you’re experiencing an emotional crisis. Click below to listen now.
Self-Care
You can't control how others take care of themselves. But you can tell them "Hey i read a interesting article you should check it out".
What Is Self-Care, and Why Is It So Important for Your Health?
self-care includes everything related to staying physically healthy — including hygiene, nutrition, and seeking medical care when needed. It's all the steps an individual can take to manage stressors in his or her life and take care of his or her own health and well-being.
Written by: By Moira Lawler
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