The Acceptance of the Past: A Foundational Step towards Healing and Self-Empowerment
Many victims of abuse and trauma in their families find it difficult to accept their past. If you decide to go on and heal, accepting the past is the first step in doing so. Although facing the suffering and trauma of the past can be extremely difficult, doing so can promote emotional development and increased self-awareness.
You can start to comprehend how your past has influenced you and take steps to end the cycle of violence by confronting your past head-on. Recall that the process of healing is a journey, and it’s acceptable to ask for help from family members or a therapist at any point. These are by no means all-inclusive, but they can offer some direction and encouragement by way of acknowledgment.
12 Questions to Help Recognize Childhood Trauma
It can be difficult to admit to a history of childhood trauma, especially when it comes from your family of origin. In fact, it can be so difficult that many people find it easier to stay in denial. They adopt a common mentality of “So what? Everyone has trauma” which keeps them stuck somewhere between acknowledgment and denial.
- When I think of my childhood, I feel sadness or loss: Never Sometimes Often Frequently
- I have difficulty getting along with one or more of my adult caregivers: Never Sometimes Often Frequently
- I worry that people will leave or abandon me: Never Sometimes Often Frequently
- I struggle with relationships (platonic or romantic) or feel like I can't seem to have a healthy relationship: Never Sometimes Often Frequently
- I worry that I am not worthy of love: Never Sometimes Often Frequently
- When I think about my childhood, there are big periods of time that I do not remember: Never Sometimes Often Frequently
- It is difficult for me to spend time with my parents or family for more than a short period. I need limited or controlled environments: Never Sometimes Often Frequently
- I feel “different” or disconnected from others, or that others do not understand me: Never Sometimes Often Frequently
- I have a history of unhealthy relationships with food, alcohol, or other substances: Never Sometimes Often Frequently
- I find it difficult to trust or rely on others because I feel like people will end up hurting me in the end: Never Sometimes Often Frequently
- I have been told that I “overreact” or respond with a much higher reaction than situations warrant: Never Sometimes Often Frequently
- I have been physically, sexually, verbally, or emotionally mistreated by someone who was supposed to care for me: Never Sometimes Often Frequently
Kaytee Gillis, LCSW-BACS. from Psychology Today
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How to Heal From Trauma
First and foremost, getting past trauma is to want to heal and be willing to accept the help and support. It might turn out that much of your healing journey occurs alone, or it might involve a lot of community support or individual therapy.
- Accept Support - First and foremost, getting past trauma is to want to heal and be willing to accept the help and support. It might turn out that much of your healing journey occurs alone, or it might involve a lot of community support or individual therapy.
- Find the Right Help - find the right type of help for your situation. If therapy seems like the right step for you, you can look specifically for a trauma-informed therapist to ensure the therapist is able to work with trauma and provide you with the best possible service.
- Connect With Others - Connection with others is key to happiness as humans, and isolating yourself while dealing with trauma can lead to negative outcomes like depression. Spend time with friends when you feel up for it, and share what you've experienced when it feels right.
- Physical Movement - Exercise has been shown to improve symptoms of PTSD. In addition to directly helping you heal, exercise and physical movement also provide your body with much-needed feel-good chemicals like endorphins.
- Work With Your Feelings - Feeling your feelings, and accepting them, is key to healing from trauma. You may have some difficult feelings along the way, like anger, and that's OK. It's natural to have a wide variety of emotions, and there's nothing wrong if some of them are new for you.
How to Heal From Trauma
- Practice Self-Care - Practice self-care through your healing journey by regularly taking action to do things that feel good and loving for yourself.
- Avoid Recreational Substances - You won't be able to work through your feelings if you're actively avoiding them by taking substances. Know that this is temporary, and you can go back to activities like social drinking once you have taken the time to heal from your trauma.
- Take Breaks - you might feel like you have physical energy, but your mind doesn't work as well. Healing from trauma takes a lot of energy. The best way to deal with reduced energy during this time, whether physical or mental, is to be gentle with yourself. Taking breaks, even from doing fun things, to pause and give yourself a moment will help keep your energy up and ensure you don't exhaust yourself.
- Practice Mindfulness or Meditation - It's a method of experiencing life where you make a point of paying attention to each moment. You stay present for everything from your thoughts and feelings to how things are for you physically. This can help you relieve stress.
- Engage in Creativity - having fun is a great healing tool. Getting creative, for you, might mean making music or just listening to it. It might mean writing poetry, journaling, or even just reading a fiction book. Engaging your brain in creative and artistic endeavors has been proven to improve physiological and psychological outcomes in people. You can try art therapy or be completely casual about your creativity and do it alone. What matters is that you engage with anything creative that feels positive for you.